By Kelly Householder-Giuliano
Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, “What the hell happened here”? I’m here to tell you, aging ain’t for sissies! I have no idea what the phrase “growing old gracefully” means. It’s NOT graceful! I’m a baby boomer, like many of you, so we’re facing aging every day in that mirror. How should we think and feel about beauty today?
I confess I have been called pretty for as long as I can remember. So my view is that of a pretty girl…who is aging. When I was younger, I thought beauty was represented by specific physical attributes. I was fortunate to have inherited some of them from my parents and have enjoyed the acknowledgement. Thus, I haven’t struggled with the “importance” of being physically beautiful in our society as much as many others. But now time and gravity are having their way with me—my hormones and metabolism are changing, and so is everything else—skin sags and dimples and folds, the middle thickens, wrinkles deepen, and everything drops. One day I realized the only heads that turn when I walk by are gray! So I find myself changing my definition of beauty, questioning how beauty is currently defined.
I was a good example of our culture in general in that my first definition of beauty was “only skin deep.” Having worked in the modeling, television, and movie industries, I saw firsthand the unhealthy obsession with unrealistic views of beauty, and how hard that makes it for women to feel good about themselves. The influence of Hollywood and advertising is enormous.
One consequence of that influence that hinders many women from radiating the full potential of their inner beauty is that we judge ourselves too harshly. I saw a video recently that exemplified this dramatically. An artist sketched a woman sitting behind a curtain (he never saw her) based on her description of herself. Then he sketched the same woman based on her description by a stranger. When he hung the sketches side by side, the difference was stunning. The sketch based on the strangers’ descriptions was not only more attractive, it more accurately depicted the actual appearance of the women he sketched—every single woman. When they observed the sketches, they had tears running down their faces.
Granted, this video is pushing a product, but the message has truth to it. If we could see ourselves the way others do, perhaps we’d stand a little taller, hold our heads a little higher, smile a little more, and move through the world with more confidence. Doing these things, in themselves, would better reflect our true inner and outer beauty.
Wouldn’t it be great if our society encouraged women of all ages to cultivate their inner light by becoming happy and healthy emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, as well as physically? Parents, teachers, actors, and athletes could all make a profound difference in helping girls and women form healthy self images. Then, whether or not we are “pretty,” we would equally strive to develop our inner, genuine beauty.
I now think women are the most beautiful when they fully come in to themselves, when they own themselves, when chasing their dreams becomes priority. This is when their true essence, that inner light, comes through to the surface and shines through their eyes and in their smiles so that what you see is much deeper than the skin. It can happen at any age. The pursuit of health, happiness, and passion is the definition of beauty that our girls should be taught when they are young. This is the beauty we can carry with us into our 50s, 60s, 70s and beyond.
When I see a woman kayaking, sitting in front of her easel painting, on a stage dancing, tending her garden, riding a horse…that’s beauty! When a person lives in that healthy balance, when they have inner peace and happiness, when they do things they love, they are truly beautiful. So with a bit of acceptance of the inevitable and this redefinition of beauty, from superficial and unrealistic to something deeper and real, we can all feel beautiful at any age. Marvelous!
For more info on Dove’s Real Beauty sketches, visit dove.com/realbeautysketches
M! June/July 2013
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